Good Vibes Only: Unpacking x Lessons Learned
I drafted a blog plan for this month and was supposed to be putting finishing touches to the article planned for today, but I decided to break the newly formed routine just for this week. We’re three months into 2019 and Q1 is almost gone. I stopped publishing my monthly reviews on the blog, but I should still acknowledge that its March already. This post might read like a ramble but please allow it today. I’m learning a lot and it does not feel right to not share so today I want to share what’s been on my mind.
The year has been decent so far and honestly, I’ve been shaken up way more than I anticipated already. Sometimes you think you have an idea of how things will go and think you’re ready to face whatever threatens to attack you. However,
The constant theme that has rang true for me over the last month and a half is the concept of ‘Self’. Self is at the root of everything we do, naturally. While self can be a catalyst for change and impact, it can also be the one thing that holds us back from full expression. I’ll explain.
Sometimes we are our own biggest obstacle
Personally, I have a bad habit of looking down on myself and constantly engaging in the awful act of self-deprecation. Not only do I underestimate my skills and abilities, I have a strong tendency to downplay my accomplishments because they do not seem as useful or as relevant compared to others. This implies that there is something off in the self-esteem department. To start seeing myself differently will require a mindset reorientation and the change will have to come from me and not anyone else. But what I’d like to point out here is the power of the mind. No one told me I wasn’t good enough (at least they didn’t say it explicitly to my face, shout out to all the rejection emails). I simply looked around and came to that conclusion based on my observation of others. Gradually, I internalized it till I started to believe it. A lot of us fall prey to this more often than not.
Subsequently, I have started to quell those voices from within that point out my flaws and compare them to others’ seemingly good traits; the ones that tell me I made mistakes and that it’s too late to bounce back from them. On some days they tell me that my dreams are not special and will have no impact, so I shouldn’t bother wasting my time. Remember the cartoons that always have the devil and angel on each side talking and confusing the character?
My point is sometimes we are our own biggest obstacle. Those voices are the product of self-doubt and being human, they will always be present in your mind. It’s up to you to listen to them or shut them up and prove to yourself that you’re more capable than you give yourself credit for. As you start to step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself to do things you didn’t imagine possible, your confidence levels will soar and soon enough you’ll barely hear the voices. This is what I tell myself and it’s worked for me.
So, on this note, this year I’m learning to:
- Trust myself, my abilities and my journey. It’s more of a reminder. No one else will advocate for you the way you can. Others will simply react based on what you show them. Whether you show insecurity or self-assuredness, they’ll relate accordingly. Get to know yourself and love all of you
- Not conform. I’m still trying to find the balance between being adaptable and standing my ground to avoid being tossed in any direction and losing myself. This is where trusting my gut should come in, but I don’t have that down fully yet
- Explore my interests with all my heart and wait to see what opportunities come out of this
- Not compare myself to others. This is a lesson I learned so many times over the years but the lesson is still not learnt apparently 😐. Seeing things from a different perspective, I realized that continuous comparison is not only a joy sucker but also breeds greed and ingratitude. It causes you to ignore what you have while you aspire for what you may not always need
- Be comfortable and confident in the journey I am on even though it doesn’t always seem to make sense. I’ve said it in several posts before that as long there is breath in you, there is a journey and calling for you to live out. Trust your journey and do you boo-boo 😉
- Not be defined by my accomplishments. They’re nice and all and make for excellent bragging rights but I ask myself who I am at the core when all I have achieved is stripped away. It’s easy to think the world owes you something because of what you have done, forgetting that there is always a higher hurdle to climb and more work to be done. Celebrate your hard work and keep it moving. Don’t get too comfortable in one spot and rest because there is still way more to do and be
- Let go and let God.
I’ll admit, this post is a little early seeing as March barely started but clearly, there is a lot I wanted to get off my chest 😊
How’s your year so far? What do you think about these lessons? Anything ring true for you?